WONDERING GURU
Chase
your dreams-Aim higher; Sure way to Depression
When children are about to graduate from the high school, one question that will be consistently thrown at them by their teachers and parents is: what do you want to do in life? They will be bombarded with barrage of advices as to how to be successful in life; how to change fortunes, how to make fast money, how to make a name and fame. Every person who claims to be related (to the student) would freely and willingly volunteer to give advices. I wonder how many would volunteer to give advice if they had to pay for it.
The deep seated
desire of every parent is that their child should one day be successful.
For them success is defined as becoming famous and making tons of money. So
they dream of their child becoming world famous musician like Michael Jackson/Dolly
Parton/Lady Gaga/ Britney Spears/Eminem or world famous swimmer like Michael
Phelps or want their daughter to be married in a rich palatial house like
Princess Diana/Meghan Markle or becoming a big Hollywood star like Johnny Depp/Angelina
Jolie/ Dwayne The Rock or a world famous joker like Jim Carey/Robin Williams or
a worldwide recognized writer like J.K Rowlings. Many of these celebrity names
are being presented to the young minds as role models to be imitated. Even if
they are not presented as role models our kids watching their movies or music
or sports crave to be like them. There is nothing wrong to have role models but there is
always a mucky shadow behind all success. The media glorifies their success stories but
never presents their mucky shadows. Almost all of these celebrities and many
more suffered from severe depressions. Some have even committed suicides. Do we want our kids to be successful at the
cost of their health? It’s not for nothing they say health is wealth. Therefore
it is crucially important to understand the difference between being successful
and being purposeful. Success may bring
in lot of fame and money but success does not ensure that you will be healthy
and happy. Whereas if we train our
children to be purposeful happiness and health is guaranteed moreover fame and
money can also follow.
What is success and what is purpose?
Success could mean
different things to different people. For some it may be standing on their own
feet, or attaining a position of power or amassing wealth. If we stick on
to the worldly idea of success i.e. you reach the pinnacle
of your business or organization, you own a luxurious house and most expensive
cars, you go for annual world tours, and socialize with the rich and
famous. People who know you are jealous
of you, many secretly dream of walking in your shoes. But even though you’ve
achieved success beyond your wildest dreams, have you found your purpose? The truth is, there is a difference between success-filled
and purpose-filled life. Some people assume that achieving greater
success or accumulating material wealth automatically fulfills the purpose of
life. But it’s far from the truth. If
that was so all the celebrities I mentioned prior would have been joyful people
and not depressed. Purpose driven life ensures joy and contentment. How to realize this purpose? Purpose
Driven People (PDP) do not take most out of life rather they add to
life. PDP are concerned about others and their surroundings. The Bible says: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do
good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do”. (Eph 2:10)
We grow up, we assume positions, and we accumulate wealth in order to give
out. That’s the purpose. Study without service leads to depression. Only
receiving and no giving make us bloated selfish beings. This is so symbolically
brought out by the two great seas in Israel; the Sea of Galilee that receives
and that gives and the Dead Sea that only receives but never gives. It’s not
for nothing it is named the Dead Sea. With all your success you can be a ‘dead’
person, lonely and cut off from everyone which is the major cause of depression
among successful people. Success and purpose are a deadly combination.
When you are successful it is important not only to keep your head high but
equally important to keep it on your shoulders.
The purpose of each individual is diametrically
different from the other. Therefore no
comparisons should be entertained when one tries to discover the purpose of
his/er life. Running after success leads to competition and more competition.
Competition breeds expectation. Expectations in turn give rise to self-imposed
stress. Outcome of stress is depression and ultimately suicidal thoughts. Success
driven people (SDP) one day or the other will have to
take the aid of sleeping pills, painkillers, anxiety drugs, alcohol or tobacco.
When you try to discover the purpose of your life the focus is not on what
others have achieved rather on what I can give to others, to nature, to society
to make this world a better place. So PDP become
creative in their service. They acquire the great human value of compassion
whereas SDP develop a competitive and uncompassionate heart. They throw
a lot of weight around. They become narcisstic. SDP may be remembered by their
organization or institution but PDP are carved on the hearts of the people.
They become the kings and queens of people’s hearts.
Chasing dreams is good. Aiming higher is
not bad. But the algorithm of achieving all that can be ugly. Therefore
motivating our students the right way is the need of the hour. We need to teach
our kids how to aim for purpose driven life. Success is worldly. Purpose is
divine. Success can make you hurt yourself. Purpose will make you to reach out
to others. Let me sum up this thought in the words of St. Ignatius to St.
Francis Xavier; “What is the use if you win the whole world and lose your
soul?”
