The Heartbroken Jesus // Fr Nelson Lobo OFM Cap

 

Wondering Guru

(How to deal with a Broken Heart Experience?)

 

        We are in the Holy Week.  The most crucial week for us Christians in our Liturgical Calendar.  The most painful heart breaking words Jesus uttered during this Holy Week are ‘one of you will betray me’. Since we commemorate the Holy Week services every year our mind spontaneously points our finger to Judas.  Yes! Jesus addressed those words to Jesus.

        Jesus is now at the last supper celebration.  How dreadful he might have felt every time he looked at Judas.  How discomforting he might have felt within in the presence of Judas.  Yet like Mary He kept everything in His heart, did not tell anyone or share with anyone His emotional pain, the pain of the soul.  Being fully human he experienced everything that you and me experiences off course except sin. Very soon he will experience the greatest betrayal of all.  Betrayal from a person who was chosen and considered not only as a disciple but also as a friend.  Three years of friendship, three years of togetherness, three years of a journey will go down the drain. 

         Jesus tried everything to hate the sin and to love the sinner.  Jesus tried to be positive and hopeful waiting for the sinner to realize his mistake.  Waiting for the betrayer to understand the quantum of pain he will cause to his master.  Waiting for the money lover and political enthusiast to understand the irreversible consequences his kiss of death will cost the master and the remaining disciples. 

         It's time to give up hope.  Jesus tried everything. Jesus made numerous appeals to the conscience and consciousness of the betrayer. But nothing worked. His heart chose darkness.  Jesus is going to make now the last desperate attempt to help the betrayer to realize his mistake.  William Barclay the biblical commentator calls this last attempt as “Love’s Last Appeal”.  

It is Passover time.  The meal is set.  Jesus is with his apostles at the table.  Barclay says the most important honourable place in the Jewish society those times during the meal was the left side of the host. It was reserved for the most intimate friend.  Barclay is of the opinion that Jesus gave this most prized left side place to the betrayer Judas.  That’s why Jesus who was reclining on his left side was very close to the heart of Judas. There is something more.  For the host to offer the guest a special morsel from the dish was a singular sign of friendship for a special friend.

       Again and again Jesus appealed to that dark heart, and again and again Judas remained unmoved.  Then the crucial moment came, the moment when the love of Jesus admitted defeat. “Judas,’ he said, ‘hurry on what you propose to do’. Jesus did not want to force his love and loyalty.  Jesus respected his freedom.  Judas was invited to be a friend not a slave. But there was no point in further delay.  If Judas was hell bent in betraying Jesus, then so be it.  When Judas received the morsel, the devil entered into him.  That is exactly what the devil can do.  He can take the loveliest things, twist them in such a way to make us agents of pain and suffering. 

       Judas was supposed to be a friend.  Judas was supposed to carry on the work of Christ.  Judas was supposed to defend his master. Judas was supposed to defend his friendship and relationship with Jesus.  But he did just the opposite.  In the garb of friendship and discipleship he betrayed Him and caused immense pain to the sacred heart of Jesus.  The pain of betrayal was much greater than the pain of the Cross. 

        We humans go through such pain again and again. We fall in love. We make friends. We have good time and then all of a sudden, our friends just disappear or betray us. Some even spoil our reputation.  Many of us have heart broken experiences. Many of us have gone through sleepless nights and waisted away our dreams and our health.  We hoped in vain that the things will be ok once again.  Things either became worse or we were left in a limbo.  Didn’t know what to do.  We were like caught up between two opposing feelings “wanting to feel the same love again” and “don’t want to feel that horrible pain again”. We waited long in hope.  We gave our friend many chances.  But nothing happened.  Our so-called friend remained stubborn careless and oblivious to our pain and sorrow. 

         Well! We didn’t pray for the death of our betrayer friend but we did pray for the grace of God to have the courage to move on in life, to let go what was. Psychologists say when you are heartbroken just don’t remind yourself of the beautiful smile S/he gave you but remind yourself also of the frown.  Remind yourself the very cause of the brokenness. Just don’t idealize your betrayer by remembering the good times but recall quite often how s/he made you suffer so much. 

       Yes, the mind reasons and speaks the truth but the heart plays the tricks and leaves us in misperception. Let go and move on is the advice of the experts. The toughest part of letting go, off course is realizing the bitter truth that the person you loved so much has already moved on. When Jesus was preparing for the Passover I am sure the days leading to Passover Judas was always on His mind.  Every time He went to sleep and every time He got up the first thought, the first person on His mind I guess was Judas and the pain that he will cause.  It’s the same with everyone who goes through a broken heart experience.  When you sleep and when you get up you remember the person who betrayed you and caused you lot of pain.  Such thoughts do de-motivate all of us.  But the good news is that time is a great healing factor.  Once time passes those who were the first on your mind gradually will be relegated to the 2^nd and 3^rd place and finally to the last chapter of the book of your life.  Somebody said “getting over a heartbreak is not a journey it is a fight”.  The journey of togetherness between Jesus and Judas is now coming to an end.  Now it is a ‘fight’ for Jesus to face the Cross.  In that painful fight He will rise victorious and begin a new chapter of resurrection. Betrayer will be forever remembered as a betrayer and nothing more. 

       All those who have gone through heart break, all those who have experienced betrayal or break in friendship, take courage and fight the fight.  You will be victorious someday. Avoid alcohol, avoid self-harm, avoid over eating, avoid abusing and trolling your betrayer.  Give yourself a short period of mourning time, a time to cry, a time to let go the tears. Walk in the rain or stay under the shower to hide your tears. Never take any major negative decisions that may harm your life or your family during the grieving period.  Do not punish yourself or your family because of that betrayer. But once the grieving period is over spend time with those who really love you.  Do lot of physical exercises. Spend a lot of time with Jesus and His mother. Both of them know first hand what pain of the soul and body is.  Finally surrender everything in God’s hands and allow the time to heal you. 

When you begin to write the new chapter of your life you are not beginning from scratch but from experience.  Write the best chapters of your life. 

Immaculate Conception made simple// Fr. Nelson Lobo OFM Cap

 

WONDERING GURU

 

Interviewer: Fr Can you explain to us this dogma of IC in simple terms? Do you know what this Immaculate Conception (IC) means? Is it about Baby Jesus or Baby Mary? 

Priest: Many Catholics think it is about the sinlessness of Jesus.  This feast is not about Jesus but about the sinlessness of Mary. This feast also raises the debate between the Catholics and the Protestant sects. Catholics believe Mary was born sinless.  Protestants believe that she too was a sinner and therefore needed a savior. Bible says two were created sinless-Adam and Eve.  One was born without sin-Jesus.  I say Mary was exception to the rule i.e. all were born sinners except Mary for the favour of God was upon her.

Interviewer:  Did the Church give us a new dogma?

Priest: No! Church only confirmed what it believed all along. At the beginning of his pontificate Pope Pius IX received number of requests for a definition of the doctrine. Of the 603 bishops consulted, 543 favoured a definition. The result was the bull Ineffabilis Deus which was promulgated on December 8, 1854.  “The Blessed Virgin Mary in the first instant of her conception, by a singular grace and privilege granted by almighty God, in view of the merits of Jesus Christ, the Saviour of the human race, was preserved from all stain of original sin”. It took 1854 years for the church to confirm and define it. 

Interviewer:  Was there any opposition within the Catholic Church towards this dogma? If so why?

Priest: O Yes! Many theologians opposed it. You see Devil’s advocate is necessary to come to the truth. They said this dogma removed Mary from the company of those needing salvation i.e. you and me.  In other words we need salvation but not Mary for she is already redeemed. O really! And

Interviewer: How that is possible?

Priest: Well we can understand this in two ways. Thanks to Blessed Duns Scotus (1309) who said that Christ can save us in two ways: Preventive or Medicinal redemption.  Duns Scotus explained that falling into sin could be likened to a man approaching unaware a deep ditch. If he falls into the ditch, he needs someone to save him. But if someone were to warn him ahead, he could be saved from falling into the ditch. Mary was saved from sin by receiving the grace to be preserved from it. Preventive redemption-Mary was preserved from falling into sin.  It’s like taking vaccination so that you will not contact any diseases. Medicinal Redemption-After sin we are purified through the sacrament of Confession. St. Alphonsus Ligouri in his book ‘The Glories of Mary’ explains by giving an example of consecration of the church.  A church becomes consecrated only after the blessing so also Mary was made a sanctuary (a tabernacle) and was blessed (God’s favour was on her) through IC for the purpose of incarnation of Christ.  CCC 490- Mary was enriched by God with gifts appropriate to such a role. 

 Interviewer: Does this mean Mary never sinned?

Priest: No! Neither original (for God preserved her) nor personal (for God saved her) sin. Mary's sinlessness is not something that Mary achieved by her own power. It is a pure gift of God, God gave her this perfect human nature not as a reward for anything she did, not on account of any merit on her part, but in view of the singular role she was to play in life, namely, that of being the mother of God's Son. Protestants object to this quoting Romans 3:23 “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” And 1John 1:8: “If any man says he has no sin he is a liar and the truth is not in him.”  If you take Rom 3:23 and 1 John 1:8 in a strict, literal sense the expression “any man” could apply to Jesus as well. The truth is Jesus Christ was an exception to Romans 3:23 and 1 John 1:8. Hebrews 4:15 reads: “Christ was tempted in all points even as we are and yet he was without sin.” Both Romans 3:23 and 1 John 1:9 deal with personal rather than original sin. 

 Interviewer: Did Mary need Jesus to die on the cross for her?

Priest: Well ! In Magnificat Mary says-‘My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour’. What she probably meant was God saved her from falling into sin. Protestants tend to see God’s “salvation” in connection with our actual committed sins. However, Scripture indicates that salvation can also refer to man being protected from sinning. St. Jude writes “Now to him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you without blemish before the presence of his glory with rejoicing, to the only God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever” (Jude 1:24-25). CCC 492 says she is redeemed by the reason of the merits of her son. CCC 494-St. Irenaeus says “Being obedient she became the cause of salvation for herself and the whole human race”.

 Interviewer: Was it necessary for God to make Mary Immaculate at her conception so that she could be Christ’s mother?

Priest: No! God could have kept Jesus pure in a sinful womb of Mary.  It is purely God’s favour to keep Mary sinless.

 Interviewer: What’s the message for us?

Priest: In celebrating the feast of IC, we recognise God’s goodness/favour/blessing towards Mary, his saving work of Grace on her life from the moment of her conception; signifying that Christ’s incarnation was not an accident of birth, but a planned, definitive intervention in humanity. Secondly, it is an example to us of God’s Grace intended for us, and which we will surely inherit because it was bought for us by the blood of the lamb. Karl Rahner says “Mary does not differ from us because she possessed special graces…the eternal Father could not intend anything for the Mother without intending it for us too…we too have been made the holy temple of God.  In us too the triune God dwells.  We too are anointed, hallowed, filled with the life and light of God”. In Mary Immaculate we have a glimpse of what God wishes for all of us.  In his book “The world’s First Love’, Bishop Fulton Sheen says: “One look at her, and we know that a human who is not good can become better; one prayer at her and we know that because she is without sin we can become less sinful”.  Yes! what Mary is by privilege we are called to become by grace and what she is by virtue of being the Mother of God, we are called to become like her aided by the fruits of her son’s redemption.  St. Paul tells the people “imitate us, you have an example in us”. (1 Cor 11:1) We have an example in Mary; an example of obedience, humility, purity and generosity.  Let’s imitate her virtues.  Live and Die in God’s friendship-be obedient, be faithful.  God says such (Immaculate) life is possible. 

Happy Feast of the Immaculate Conception!

 

PRESENTATION OF THE LORD//Purification of Mary//Candle mass// Fr Nelson Lobo OFM Cap

 

 WONDERING GURU 

It’s the feast of the Presentation of the Lord. What? It’s also called the feast of the Purification of Mary? My Jesus! Does such feast exist? It’s also called as Christmas Feast. Don’t tell me! It is also the Feast of the consecrated life. How many feasts? Finally it’s also called feast of Candle mass. OMG why Candles?  

PRESENTATION OF THE LORD- in the temple because by the Jewish Law the first born belonged to the Lord (Ex 13:1-2) however the first born could be redeemed (bought back) by paying five shekels (Num 18:15-16) only 40 days after his birth. The act of presentation in the temple represented fulfilling of God’s command. It recalled God’s deed of deliverance from slavery and reminded the deep love of God for His people.

PURIFICATION OF MARY- because according to the Mosaic Law a mother who had given birth to a boy was considered unclean for seven days (Lev 12:6-7). Also, she was to remain 33 days ‘in the blood of her purification”. Our Lady did not need this purification because we believe she was a virgin however she underwent this rite to fulfill the Law.

CHRISTMAS FEAST- since it points back to the Solemnity of Christmas. Some Catholics in some parts of the world practice the tradition of keeping out the Nativity crèche or other Christmas decorations until this feast.

FEAST OF THE ENCOUNTER: Pope Francis likes to call this feast as an encounter. The first encounter between Jesus and his people, represented by Simeon and Anna. It was also the first encounter between the young and the old: the young were Mary and Joseph with their infant son and the old were Simeon and Anna.  It is a unique encounter between observance and prophecy, where young people are the observers and the elderly are prophets!

FEAST OF THE CONSECRATED LIFE- Because of this feast this day is dedicated to the religious priests and nuns. By baptism all of us are consecrated to the Lord however some are especially consecrated by their religious vows. It’s a day of renewal of commitment.

CANDLE  MASS-To remind us that at Christmas Jesus came as the true Light of the world. It signals the end of the “Christmas-time” and looks forward to the light that will shatter all darkness at the Easter Vigil — when another candlelight service will remind us that, “the people who sit in darkness have seen a great light” (Mt 4:16). By lighting candles we carry in us the light of Christ. Like the candle we are called to give light by ‘melting away’ like Jesus on the Cross.  Every Christian belongs to Christ so everyone has an obligation to renew their commitment and zeal for the Lord and His works; To rekindle the fire of faith and love.  So as we celebrate this feast let’s remember that we belong to the Lord, we are consecrated and that we are called to be the Light of the world. Happy Feast!

Is Your Life Ending or Finishing? Fr Nelson Lobo OFM Cap

 

*Wondering Guru 

Have you ever wondered whether your life is ending or finishing?

Those who live behind closed doors in fear are already dead. The apostles too remained closed doors after the crucifixion thinking that they may be also caught and crucified because they were 'infected' by the personality of Jesus. 

Through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit the mother of Jesus called them together in the upper room and prayed with them. Boom! the Holy Spirit descended and transformed shit scared apostles into fearless missionaries not afraid to die. In fact all the apostles were martyred except John. 

Because they died for Jesus even after 2000years we glorify them. Those who have understood Christianity can never remain behind close doors. Those who die in fear their life will end naturally but forgotten easily. Those who die in faith like Jesus can give a cry of victory uttering "It is finished". Amen. 

The Feast of Annunciation//Fr Nelson Lobo OFM Cap

 

WONDERING GURU   

Angel Gabriel announced the Good News to Mary. Before Mary said Yes, Gabriel made lovely promises to her (Lk 1:26ff). Have you ever wondered what happened to those promises? Let’s count Mary’s blessings/ promises one by one and check if they were fulfilled by God.

 1) “Greetings, you who are highly favored!” (Lk 1:28). Angel said that she was highly favoured by God.  Favoured means she was under God’s special attention and protection. From human perspective since she was an apple of God’s eye her life should have been full of worldly amenities and luxuries. Mary never received a big house, big car, big position or big money.  Being highly favoured all she got was gossip, pain, loneliness, suffering and a brutal death of her son. When we want God to bless us, when we want to be the apple of His eye what are we looking for? Do we understand the favour of God?

2) “Do not be afraid, Mary (Lk 1:30).  Angel Gabriel told Mary not to be afraid. What happened to this promise?  Mary was afraid all along.  The annunciation instilled fear in her heart.  Fear of Joseph leaving her; Fear of society due to pre-marital pregnancy; Fear of delivering in a manger; Fear of running to Egypt with the new born baby; Fear of life after Joseph passed away; Fear of being alone when her son started His public ministry; Fear of the religious leaders planning to murder her son and finally fear of the Crucifixion. Like Mary don’t we experience fear even when we are under God’s favour? Inspite of fear Mary decides to stick on to God.  That is courage.  That is the victory.  That’s what Jesus did on Calvary.  He stuck on to His father inspite of extreme fear and untold pain.

3) He will be great. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David (Lk 1:32). Mary was told her son will be great.  He will sit on David’s throne.  Where were these promises when her son was given the Cross instead of the throne? How can her son be called great when He is crucified as a criminal among other criminals? Did Mary really understand all these promises? Do we really understand the promises of God when we are faced with our crosses big or small? Human desire is to be great. We want that throne or the crown (but not Corona) or the gold medal. But that is taking the road of success which is interspersed with anxiety, pain, sleepless nights and the destruction of mother earth.  To become great we need to take the road of purpose.  Success comes from ambition from human perspective.  Purpose comes from God from divine perspective. Success driven life is selfish.  Purpose driven life is inclusive. It embraces and respects all life on earth. Jesus was not successful but purposeful.

4) He will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end” (Lk 1:33). Gabriel told Mary that His kingdom will never end.  But on Calvary she saw her son dying.  This is the end of His ministry. He is nailed to the cross.  He cannot do anything now.  How will he reign over Jacob’s descendants?  Jacob’s descendants only killed her son.  From human perspective when we experience some tragedies such as sickness or death we are shattered.  Our faith and confidence doomed.  But Jesus has told us “unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. (Jn 12:24) Because Jesus died on the cross today He is sitting on the heavenly throne and ruling us.  His throne and His kingdom will never end.

From human perspective Mary’s and her son’s life were a disaster. From human point of view the promises of annunciation were a huge joke. But from divine perspective life and death are a small part in His great royal plan.  For God death is not the end of the story. That’s what the apostles failed to see on Calvary.  They thought the master died so it was all over.  But the second thief realized that something more is to come after death.  Our Resurrection makes more sense than our life and death.  Mary might have realized this after the resurrection of her son. Before we really experience the blessings, promises and favour of God we have to go through crisis, through fire and pain.  God never lies.  He is always faithful to his promises. The prophet told us “my word from my mouth will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire” (Is 55:11). Today Mary is queen of heaven and earth.  Her Son reigns forever.  

My dear fellow Christians interpret your life from divine perspective. You too are favoured by God. In your Annunciation there will be Good Fridays.  In times of fear, anxiety and pain do what Mary did.  Stick on to God and be faithful to Him.  Happy feast of Annunciation!  

HOLY TRIDUM-Questions For Reflections//Fr Nelson Lobo OFM Cap

 

WONDERING GURU 

 

01) What does Passover meal signify?
02) Was washing of the feet absolutely necessary?
03) How is the Passover meal related to the Holy Mass and Priesthood?

04) If Good Friday is the story of Jesus's death then Why were there two more crosses? Why was he not crucified alone?

05) What happened to Mother Mary after Good Friday burial? 

06) Why does the priest prostrate before the altar on Good Friday?

07) Why does the priest bless new fire and water at the Easter vigil?

08) What is the significance of the Easter Candle?

09) Why did resurrected Christ show himself first to a woman and not to his apostles? Not even to his mother?

10) Is death part of God's plan? We are so afraid of death and therefore we pray that God may save our life. Praying to remain alive does it mean that death is not part of God's plan? Does it mean that those who are healed are loved by God and those who are not healed are not loved by God?

Do reflect on these questions these days. Bible will come alive in your life and make more sense if you ask relevant questions. 

Wishing you meaningful preparation for the feast of Easter.